Ugh

Hi Guys

In my last post I talked about feeling pretty decent overall for a constant month but unsurprisingly about 3 days later I was back feeling like absolute S*** and have been all day every day ever since. I won't rattle on about all of the symptoms and sensations I am experiencing as I am sure if your reading my blog you know exactly what I mean. It's all so devastating really isn't it. It's getting to the festive period now when everybody gathers, goes out and has fun with family and friends and I just know I'm barely going to leave the house. I do like to go for a walk during this time of year in the evening when I feel I can tolerate the uncomfortable sensations to see the Christmas lights people decorate the front of their houses with. It makes me feel festive. I can't believe it's going to be my 11th Christmas feeling this way. Anyway what can you do it's the hand I am dealt isn't it. I do hope to venture out Christmas eve with friends for a couple of hours but as usual I will have to wait until that very day to see how everything goes.

One last thing, I get to see an eye specialist in January to further investigate this dizzy hell. I don't know how I feel about it. Part of me is hopeful they can give me answers and a solution this time yet the other half of me is less optimistic. It's been so long living this way I wonder if I am ever getting out of it. From time to time my optimism about finding a cure and getting better takes a massive hit and I guess it's one of those times right now.

Take care guys

Swimmyhead