Dizzier

Hi Guys

After a pretty good couple of weeks I am back to being a little more dizzier again. Not terribly but but more than I would like. Those couple of weeks were certainly different, I actually felt nearly normal. Believe me when I say that I never thought I would ever get to say that. I have had a little taste of normality and I want it again. It just goes to show that even after so long disorientated with all the false sensations my brain can actually get to that better place. why it won't stick I do not know, then again I have no idea why it improved.

It's frustrating having to go back to moving a little slower and to concentrating harder visually but after experiencing such an improvement I remain hopeful easier days will occur again soon. Hopefully my good days will now increase and my harder days become less frequent, we shall see.

Words cannot describe all I have been through this past several years. The first 5 being absolutely horrendous.Only if you have experienced a severe vestibular upset can you understand how life changing it is truly is. How scary this disorder has been.

One day you are absolutely normal the next day life suddenly is robbed from you. You have to go through and try to make sense of the hellish symptoms day after day then you have to deal with all the months/years of worry trying finding out what is wrong, getting test after test then have to nervously wait for the results etc. We then have to face the vertigo enhancer called vestibular rehabilitation and also make radical adjustments to our diet eliminating this and eliminating that, the foods we all love we can no longer have. The dizziness is just one element to this life changing condition.The feeling of being isolated and alone with no one too talk to who understands. The feeling of letting friends and family down, being a burden and  feeling like a drama queen and a fraud. Having to explain your symptoms or constantly tell people you are still not well really can drag you down. Watching everybody move on in life whilst you stand still unable to make future plans.

Some of us have to deal with strained relationships with family/friends because of our vestibular illness, many I guess have lost a loving relationship/partner because of the burden and stress this illness causes. I lost a 7 year relationship with a girl because I simply couldn't do anything and became depressed as hell. An ill person is not easy to live with.I don't blame her at all as it takes it's toll not only on you but everybody close around you. People lose jobs/careers and self worth because of  a vestibular problem.We have to deal with a lot of background mental/psychological  issues not only our physical problem. Most people will never understand the true full impact this invisible illness causes.

What I am trying to say  is that our symptoms are one thing but all the other stuff going on in our heads in our minds are just as hard to deal with. As a dizzy person respect and sympathy is hard to come by. To all you dizzy/vertigo sufferers reading this YOU HAVE MY RESPECT. Deal with your vestibular disorder as best as you can. If people walk away from you during this difficult time then I say "let them walk" they are the ones you don't need in your life at this trying time. Focus on you and everything you can do to get better. I have had a brief taste of normality after several long years. If I can then so can you.

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