If you're going through hell, keep going

I still have minimal symptoms. The best I have felt in years. The visual external swaying and internal push pull sensations are slight. Balance is much stronger. If I turn too quick there is a jerking of the environment but at least it's not strong otherwise. It truly is like looking out at a whole new world. I really do not know how to explain how different I feel and how different I am able to move around. I don't feel like a bloody robot, stiff and having to turn slowly. Always concentrating hard on every step I take.

That constant heaviness/swaying pressure of the head and slow unfocused vision is not overwhelming. Sure there is still a head sensation present. It's like a slight headache and lightheaded but that is ok. I wish I could tell you guys the reason why I have suddenly improved but I just don't understand it. It could be a number of things. Maybe it's just time.

Now I need to be clear. I still have all the constant symptoms. I am not yet out of the woods and don't know if this will last (probably not given my track record) but I think it is important that I share this good news to help you guys who are also suffering the same fate.

You may have only just begun this hellish journey or been at it for quite some time. You spend your days scared and worried about the future, watching friends and family living life and moving on whilst your stuck primarily indoors in a disorientated hell. You psyche yourself up just to stand up and walk across a room or your garden.Watching television or reading a book is no longer comfortable. You might well be lying down right now concentrating hard to follow and read the words on the screen as they appear to snake and move all the while your head is spinning. It spins when you lie down so you dart straight back up again to get a sense of composure. It spins when your sitting upright. The fullness and heaviness in your head is overwhelming and the vision issues you have exacerbate everything else. You feel like there is no hope in sight. You feel lost, alone, afraid and a burden to everybody else around you. You may feel like a drama queen or a fraud and do not know who to turn to. It seems like nobody understands your predicament or can help.

Day after day, week after week ,month after month, year after year you battle to get through each day wishing and praying to feel well again. Hoping that tomorrow will give you back the life that this illness has taken away from you.
For a long time (years) symptoms may be very harsh with absolutely no change in how you feel. I tell you to keep pushing on, Allow yourself to have those sad moments/days and weeks even but then stand up and keep fighting. Do what you can do to get through each day. Only do what you feel you are able to do. Do not hurt yourself in order to live up to other peoples expectations. Arm yourself with knowledge about the various conditions and causes of vestibular dysfunction and seek professional treatment. If one specialist or doctor is not working for you then seek another. Get five professional opinions if need be. If you are told to complete a course in vestibular rehabilitation perform the exercises religiously. If you are given medication give them chance to work. Start to eat more healthy and keep yourself hydrated with water. What you put in your body is very important. Good food and hydration may help more than you think. If your doctor has no problem with you exercising then please do. I really believe that the daily exercise I started 2 years ago has helped me get these better moments ( I could be wrong of course).

Know that you are not a alone and that Swimmyhead and many others feel exactly like you do. Keep your fingers crossed for me guys and Ill leave you with my favourite inspirational quote that always pops into my mind in the bad times.

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

Winston Churchill

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/winstonchu103788.html#vPmdiPm89FAoMAYJ.99

Swimmyhead